So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
