she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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