I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
