Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
