You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
