We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
