What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize