"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Shame - the story of my life.
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