what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
