I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
