The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
