We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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