i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
3 2 1 whiskey
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
