But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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