Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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