But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
