It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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