So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
we're making bets on your personal life
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
They took my balls.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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