i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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