Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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