Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
