If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
