Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I've blown a few things in my day
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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