worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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