absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
