ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Randomize
