hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
