On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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