In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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