I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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