How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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