I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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