There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
