Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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