): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
