you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
