I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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