How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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