I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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