hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You ate ashes out of my bong
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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