I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
