shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
