Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
