How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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