Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
pop tarts are not kleenex
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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