her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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