I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
