what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
