Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
