I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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