Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
