I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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