They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I intend to get homeless drunk
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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