can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
