I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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