your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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