Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
